Overcoming Fear

Today, I had an insight about a way to circumvent my fear of failing. It started as I was reading the book, On Becoming A Leader by Warren Bennis. In chapter three titled, "Knowing Yourself", Bennis was relaying the perspective of Marty Kaplan on a learning attitude.

What occurred to me is that instead of seeing a situation as an opportunity to fail or succeed, I need to see it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

This is especially important, when I feel afraid to act, because I might fail to get it right or fail to meet others expectations. My fear usually produces high anxiety because my worth is threatened by the possibility of failing. But what if the outcome is not about if I succeed but if I learn. What if each decision or action were not a test of my ability to be right but an opportunity to get hands on experience in learning something new or improving my skills .

What if challenging situations no longer held the power to determine if I am a success or a failure but only the power to teach me. I feel much better being challenged in my ability to learn than my ability to succeed. If I don't get it right, I am not a failure, I just know what doesn't work, and the next time I will try something different.

In my mind this takes the power away from life experience to determine my worth and instead gives me the power to make life experience my teacher.